Lately I've been thinking abut life, indeed is really boring, with million of friends or not it's really boring. I notices I'm finally growing up, and I think I have to thank my 26 year old friend that looks like a 17 year old douche and his 30 year old friends that still look like damned 17 year olds. 
 Bleaching their hair to the point it looks white, same make up, same clothes, blah blah blah blah. Anyway I am just getting old and I was always a boring person, the point is I decided to get rid of my piercings, this days to look different you have to look normal anyway.

My family took that as a HUGE deal, I think it was a bit of a mistake do such thing as a gift to my aunt for her birthday, I just told her that she can have that as a prove I'm getting more mature, but to be honest I was always so mature for my age.
 The people there started to question about it, thinking that by now I will have another 5 done, saying a lot of stuffs, and for the other hand the people who liked them went "WHY?????".

 What is truly upsetting is that my family a dear friends made me think they focus too much on my look, I understand that in this horrible rotting world, you are nothing but appearance, but it's different when your family, that anyways will never be happy about your look, and your close friends makes you feel such thing.

 At the end, it was nothing but just 2 rings on my lip, I still the same boring quiet sarcastic girl that dress weird and loves super cute things. Why the people close to you has to be so "special" about it?, Why not just a "How come?" and not million of questions that at the end makes you feel bad?. This decision I made was pretty much for boredom and the fact that been so close to that rather old emo people looks so pathetic made me question such things. I don't wear stripes with million of skulls and a stupid tiara, that's for sure, but still made me question if it look like a rebel yell from me or just a fashion thing.

 I did have my reasons to get them and fashion wasn't one of them, and I had my reasons to take them off and I think that sadly fashion was one of them. So why the big deal?.

Today i was looking for the video of a song and i found mixed comments about it.

To be honest, they all were annoying.

Screaming fangirls saying "oh ___ is so cute" or "best song ever" and the usual crap you get from them.
on the other hand, i found hatred comments about it, at some point i kind of get them but no need to be retarded about it.

They all look so cheap and about the same general idea, always some gore or something creepy going on, which for me is more than enough, because today's horror truly sucks.

In one of the comments i read this guy ask why Dir en grey are always so gory even when the songs are rather deep, as an example he mentioned the video "Obscure" that its a rather creepy video when the song is about abortion, an anti~abortion song to be more specific.

For that, i will reply, because they can.

The video from the point of view of such a marvelous artist like me, its appropriate for many reasons, ignoring the fact that is cheap, its also very well done, besides it expresses the emotional anger on the music and voice of the band. If you ever get to listen the song, you will get it, The song is charged with heavy music and an angry voice, what the fuck were you waiting?, flowers and a teenage girl crying over the fact she is getting an abortion just because her boyfriend dumped her?, that will be rather boring.

Today's edition

Malice Mizer ~ Au revoir

Please enjoy

This video is one of the worse videos i ever saw, but, I love this song, it's the perfect soundtrack to my Tokyo dreams with my lovely italian lover with prussian attitude....nerdy joke....

Anyways, I feel like a goth lolita walking on top of those lovely tokyo neon nights in a cotton candy maze walking next to him.
That good it feels.

Ai~chan ♥